Wednesday, June 2, 2010

When that Peaceful, Easy Feeling hides

Everyone gets down every now and again. When I'm down, it usually lasts 2 to 3 days. It can often be hard to actually place my finger on the root of the trouble. Many times, the root really isn't even important. It often isn't just one thing, either; each issue (if you want to call them that), on its own, can be fairly easy to glance over. When you put many of these little boogers together, however, they can quickly turn into a runny nose on the verge of a sinus infection.

I make light of this because the cold always clears up and the world moves on. It's all part of a natural emotional cycle.

My latest funk, I think, is a combo of uncertainty, timing, control, habit and fear. You see, with the spring comes cleaning and change. The world regains a sense of movement and your mind wakes up. In my mind, this spring, I really started thinking about where we live, both on a large and small scale. Please, don't get me wrong; I love our home. Joey and I built it together (not the house in a literal sense, we bought that, but our "home"). When we purchased our house 5 years ago, the economy was still fairly stable - at least in NWA. Our "plan" was to live here for around 5 years and then move to whatever house we planed to retire in.

Now, I knew Joey wasn't that handy when I married him (no offense, honey, but you already knew that). He does try his best, I'm decently handy and our dad's our super heroes of handiwork (I'm tellin' ya, capes and everything). So, together, we were going to accomplish the updates the house needed, a few decorative changes and start our family. Five years and 3 kids later, I can still think of 5 things that need to happen before we can even begin to put the house on the market; right off the top of my head. PLUS, there was that bubble NWA was sitting on... it popped. Damn soap scum everywhere now; I mean Seriously! We also have 3 kids under 4 years old whom demand a lot of attention and, apparently, we aren't as handy as I was giving us credit for (me and Joey, not our dad's... they are super heroes, remember).

I haven't stopped thinking about it though; where we might live next. Like an alarm clock buzzer went off, my mind started wandering to, not only different homes and neighborhoods, but different cities and states as well. Not that I don't like Fayetteville but if you are going dream, dream big. I mean, we're young! Our kids are young and our jobs are easily transferable - why the heck not?!

Fayetteville is a great place to live, though. Like anywhere, it has its ups and downs but, overall, I would be completely comfortable raising a family here. Joey seems to be perfectly content in staying here as well. We are just a few blocks from one of Joey's brothers and his family. Joey's parents live just on the other side of the city. He really likes the hospital he is at as well. We have made some really great friends and are growing more active in the church and community. My parents are only 5 hours away (not bad) and Bo is only 3 hours (though you would think it was 3 days as little as we see each other). Can you tell that I have been talking myself into staying in NWA?

Then, there is the matter of the house. I have long admired the east side of the city. East of 71 is the older, more established section of town. This is not to say that the westward movement doesn't have its benefits but my love for East Fayetteville is strong. I can think of several places, right off the top of my head, I would like to be. Unfortunately, though, the houses are more expensive over there. Then, there is this SUPER CUTE neighborhood in Johnson. No, it isn't east Fayetteville but it IS an actual neighborhood. Complete with sidewalks, people who know each other, kids riding bikes to each other's houses; you can borrow eggs or sugar from your neighbor! Anyway, there is this GREAT house at the end of one of the cul-de-sacs. I have admired this house for quite a while. Well, guess what... IT'S FOR SALE! And, the asking price is within our budget!! HOWEVER - Joey isn't ready to put our house on the market. STAB ME WITH A SPOON!! Ok, so really if you have read this far, you know that our house isn't ready either but give me a week with no kids (ok, maybe two) and by God, I could have it ready! In fact, I came home last night and Joey had been working on our bathroom! So Excited! Maybe, by the time we are ready to put the house on the market, a different great house will be for sale. On can only dream.

Anyway, just talking about it is like blowing my nose (note that reference in the beginning). I'm already feeling better. I know better than to make to many plans; take Murphy for example (my beautiful baby boy). It's just a lot of little boogers, they'll go away. Thanks for listening.

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