Tuesday, April 22, 2014

No words....

Really, no, Really! The one that talked the ear of a post off about nothing at all, doesn't know how to put into words that which I am consumed with. Exhaustion, hopefulness, frustration, wiggly-gotta-move-ness, complete and total guilt, helplessness along with a vast array of other emotions spanning the scale from upbeat to downtrodden.

I'm talking about bed rest.

I feel I should be able to let my fingers jump about the keys and pour it all out. That should make it better, right. Put it into words gets it out of the system. I sure hope so. I just don't know quiet how to explain it. When I'm laying down or in a mostly reclined position, as I am suppose to stay, I usually feel fine. Like I could conquer the world... or at least the laundry.  The problem is, once I hop out of bed to grab a sandwich, or a new nail polish color, the pressure and contractions start back. No, it isn't usually that instantaneous though, maybe would be better if it were. It usually gives me just enough time to think "Hey, I got this. Look at me, I'll just go mix up some cookies for the kids. They would love that!" By that point, however, I'm headlong into having to knock myself out to relax my body back. It totally sucks and I'm totally being a whiny baby about it. You trying being a over-active busy body wife and mother of 4 children whom are used to being very involved not to mention a fitness dork and personal trainer then BAM... in order to save every last second of in-utero time you can for baby #5 you required to hand over control of EVERYTHING and "relax". Yes, I realize exactly how important it is for me to heed my OB's word and allow the baby baking time. Trust me, I have had pre-term babies. I have a husband who's life work is pre-term babies. I am fully aware of the importance. That, however, doesn't relieve any of the guilt. None of the anxiety is lessened. I still have a husband and 4 out-of-utero babies to care for. I still have a house and friends and family and a dog and career that all need attention. I am stuck between a rock and hard place. Sitting her, mind whirling like peas, listening to the world move around me.

I know others are and have been in this position. I know that there are worse things in life. I know that the sun will rise and set again and God has a greater purpose in all he does. I know that I am blessed with family and friends that are going out of their way to support us. I know all of this but, right now, in this moment, I am lonely and I am scared. There, I guess I did put it in words. It didn't help.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I needed something so I made it.

I realized this morning that I didn't have a lightweight, short sleeved cardigan. I had a cute sweater that was short sleeved but heavy... meant for wearing in the winter over long sleeves. I had a light weight cardigan, but it was long sleeved. I wanted a short sleeved one. LIGHT BULB! I had this cute top in my closet that I love but it was just big enough that it didn't fit all that well.

I was struggling with purging it from closet so.... I changed it! I simply cut it down the middle!

When someone gets home that can reach my sewing machine down (Joe), I will finish off the edges. This is not a necessary part of the process but I'm a nerd like that. In the mean time, this mama got herself a new, trendy, short-sleeved cardigan!!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Those who can't nest, CRAFT!

Nesting: adjective 1.referring to an instinct (urge) in pregnant animals to prepare a home for the upcoming newborns. 2. The distinctive urge to exterminate dust bunnies, reorganize closets, disinfect everything in sight and alphabetize the spice rack.

If you have ever had a child, you understand that nesting is major player in the need to control a situation in which you have little actual control. By cleaning, organizing, tidying, we can help to ensure the survival of tiny, helpless creator causing the vast expansion of your midsection. The urge does not wane with the number of pregnancies either. In fact, at least in my case, it grows ever stronger. Blame it on the attempt to fit yet another human (and all that the tiny one needs) into a house that has yet to spontaneously expand in accordance to its growing number of inhabitants. Blame it on nature. Whatever you want to curse at for the evil nesting instinct, bed rest causes that urge to multiple exponentially.

I have had to rely on others (namely my husband) to follow my direction in doing things like: moving furniture; vacuuming daily; redecorating kids rooms; creating new spaces; organizing toys; swapping clothes from winter to spring...etc, etc, etc. Shesh, it would be easier to train the dog! If it doesn't involve heavy lifting (more than a gallon of milk or, say, Violet), over-head lifting, tugging, pushing, or standing for a long period of time, making laps back and forth from bedroom to bedroom, climbing ladders or basically anything I can't do while sitting (other than to make lunch, swap a load of laundry or fill a sippy cup) it is off limits. For a person such as myself, this is akin to a sentence of torture.

Today, I discovered an answer! I have yet to be forced into prone bed-rest (PLEASE GOD DO NOT LET THAT DAY COME) SO... Today I started crafting!! I looked around the house at things I had, took a seat and created. Today, I made a cute picture board for our oldest daughter to hang her prized artistic works on.

I also, finally, painted the E.A.T. letters I purchased to lead into the kitchen AND I actually put the finishing touches on our (current) youngest son's cross so that can join the rest of the collection.

Now if I could just figure out how to sneak to Hobby Lobby for a cross for Violet, more foam peg board and material to make boards for the other 3 plus other items to keep me going for more than 1 more day. I guess I'll get pintrest (believe it or not, I have never used it before) to get some idea and make a very detailed list for Joe. Today, I was able to reduce, reuse, recycle but I only have so many crafty things at hand. This could get interesting. I'll keep you in the loop!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Project Hermosa

As I mentioned before, I have some new things underway. One of them is joining the Project Hermosa team. I promise, my posts there are little less random and rambling... rather than spitting out whatever is on my mind like I do here. Either way, the Project has a team in place to help you on your way to being the most beautiful you both inside and out. Check it out at www.ProjectHermosa.com

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Don't buy ugly clothes!

"You always look so cute! How do you do it?" "You know, I would never know you were a mother of 4." "You look awfully cute for a woman on bed rest."

I've heard it all. I promise:
  • I don't spend hours getting dressed
  • I don't spend hundreds on clothes (unless it is for the kids)
  • I don't memorize the fashion mags and copy what I see.
  • If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO!

Here is my secret....
Find an amazing hair stylist, buy a cute hat and DON'T BUY UGLY CLOTHES!

1. The hair!
     Your hair stylist is one of the most important tools you can have. She (or he) is worth her weight in gold, people. It may take a while to find the right fit but a good stylist will take your wants, your style, your hair, and what's current then marry the four into the perfect quaff. Do not be afraid to break up with your stylist if things aren't working out. Don't be afraid to pay good money for good hair. And, when you don't have time or energy to fix it, then you have a....

2. Good Hat!
    A cute hat that fits you well can take a bad hair day to a super cute day in split second. Mine has sparkles (because I love all things sparkly) but yours doesn't have to shoot rainbows in the sun. Find one that you are comfortable with but stick with the mantra "simple is better". Remember that your hat is neutral in your wardrobe and want to be able to wear with as much as possible.

    Ok, I've said it enough, hopefully it has sunk in. If your drawer if full of old t-shirts and paint splattered jeans that really don't fit all that well (or yoga pants even though you are not an instructor or spend hours in the gym) guess what you will put on. Yep, t-shirts and yoga pants. Don't get me wrong, I own all sorts of work out gear. I own old t-shirts. These things hold a place in our lives and our wardrobes. However, if you open my closet or my drawer (unless it is my work drawer) these will not be the first items you see. In fact, you will have to look for them. That way, when I reach in and pull something out, it is more likely to be a Piko top than something I would wear on a hike. I could right a whole post on the versatility of a Piko top but I mention them here simply to say that if you put cute into your closet, cute comes back out.